Eleven walks, one HBP, four wild pitches (by Daniel Cabrera), and a balked-in run... maybe it's time to fire everyone again. So for the hell of it I started looking around to see who's still unemployed. (Not that I endorse adding any of these guys. I wanted them to sign Derek Lowe.)
Pedro Martinez: This is well covered territory. He wants $5 million, no one's going to give that to him, and if/when he drops his asking price surely there will be a respectable franchise willing to give him a shot.
Salomon Torres: He retired last November, but who knows, maybe he's missing the bright lights and big city. He pitched 80 innings for the Brewers last year with a 4.51 tRA* (subtract .40 and think of that as "deserved" ERA based on repeatable skill) while picking up 28 saves. If he's still in shape, it would be interesting to see how much it would cost to get him to come back.
Odalis Perez: Do you doubt that he wouldn't be one of our five best starters?
Mark Mulder: His agent insists he's healthy and could pitch right away. I have no idea what you'd get with him at this point, but we know what we have now!
Keith Foulke: He managed 31 IP with a 4.06 ERA in his comeback last year in Oakland. PECOTA thinks he'd be worth a 4.36 ERA this year.
Rudy Seanez: At 39 last year in Philly he was still throwing in the low-90s and threw 39.1 innings with a 3.53 ERA. All four projection systems over at Fangraphs projected him for a fielding independent ERA under 4.50. He's injury-prone and wild, and it's possible that he's hurt somewhere.
Paul Byrd: He threw 180 innings with a 4.60 ERA in the AL Central and East last year. He hasn't been able to strike anyone out since, well, ever really, and lefties absolutely kill him. But he can get righties out most of the time. And he won't walk anyone.
Freddy Garcia: The Mets released him two days ago. Who knows what kind of condition his shoulder is in. He pitched badly in the spring and in a few starts in AAA Buffalo. But unless his shoulder is just totally shot, he's certainly worth a look.
Al Reyes: He's 38, but he was pretty ok in brief time with the Rays last year after washing out with the Mets. He only managed 22 innings, but he had a 4.06 FIP, and he's always been able to miss bats. If nothing else, he and Scott Olsen could trade taser stories.
Shawn Chacon: He was released by the Astros after he grabbed GM Ed Wade by the neck and throwing him to the ground. But really, who associated with the Astros hasn't wanted to do that at some point? He's basically terrible, but not any worse than half the guys we have now.
Eric Gagne: Hey! Now you're talkin'! After he came back from rotator cuff tendonitis in July last year, he finished with 27 innings of 4.33 ERA pitching. I'm not sayin'. I'm just sayin'. That's a true fact.
Esteban Loaiza: He hasn't had a healthy season since he left Washington after 2005, and there's really no doubt that he's cooked, but if you're going to watch the Nationals get killed, why not Loaiza? What did Julian Tavarez ever do for you?